What is a Christian Marriage?

Congratulations on your engagement! Your wedding day will be a very special day for you and we want to help you prepare for it as well as we can. We also want to help you prepare not just for the special day, but also for your entire married life together.

Marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church. It is not only a very special moment for the two of you; it is also a sacred event for all of us. These guidelines are part of our effort to help you enhance the sacred character of your wedding. Guidelines reflect the Church’s desire to celebrate your wedding as an integral and welcome part of the Parish’s worship life. We ask your cooperation in following these guidelines.

Each couple is expected to reflect on the beauty and the richness of marriage from the perspective of our Catholic faith. This will include what the Bible has to say about marriage as well as the Catholic doctrine concerning the sacrament of marriage and the moral issues of marriage and family.

The Catholic Church believes that Christian marriage is the union of a baptized man and woman who freely enter into a covenant of love with each other in Christ for the purpose of giving and receiving love and for the procreation and education of children.

Married couples live their sacrament by the way they care for one another, love one another, and are enthusiastic for one another as husband and wife. In their daily love for each other, their children, and the larger community, they become a living sign (a sacrament) for all of how much Jesus loves us and wishes to embrace us as His brothers and sisters. As they work their way through marital and family crises and struggles, they are witness to the power of the Holy Spirit at work in all our lives.

In order to live out this ideal Christian marriage, couples must have the ability to give and receive love and to sustain an intimate relationship. They must also have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and His Body, the Church.

In the previous description of Christian marriage we note several new emphases:

• Marriage is a covenant relationship (I will love you unconditionally), and not just a contractual relationship (I will love you if you love me).

• The principal goals of marriage are the mutual love of husband and wife and the openness to new life.

• The sacrament of marriage has two important community dimensions:

1) Couples, by their love for each other, become living signs of how God loves us and how he wants to embrace us as family.

2) A Catholic wedding is a celebration of the entire Christian community and not simply a private family function.

• Marriage enables a couple to sustain a close intimate relationship.

• A Catholic marriage assumes that a couple has a relationship with Christ and His Church.

At least six t o eight months before the tentative marriage date (18 months in the case of a prior marriage), couples should call the Parish office to register for formal preparation. This will allow sufficient time for preparation, not only for the wedding celebration, which will last a short time, but also for the marriage, which will last a lifetime. Couples are asked to make only tentative wedding arrangements. No firm dates may be set until the assessment process has been completed and the decision to proceed has been made by the Priest or Deacon assisting at the marriage.

Before a marriage, couples will be expected to spend time with the Priest or Deacon, married couples, and other engaged couples, discussing marriage plans and expectations and receiving instruction concerning various aspects of marriage and family life. Arrangements are made with each couple.

1. Inactive Catholics… In the event that one or both of the parties are not active in the practice of their faith, additional sessions will be provided to help them become active again as practicing Catholics.

2. Marriages of Young People… If either of the parties will be under 18 years of age at the time of the wedding:

A. At least six months must elapse after the completion of the Primary Marriage Preparation.

B. Parental consultation and completion of the canonical free state form must take place.

3. Pregnancy… If the couple had not planned to marry, pregnancy, of itself, will not be considered sufficient reason to enter marriage or to shorten the marriage preparation process.

4. Validation… If the couple has entered into a marriage outside the laws of the Church, a validation of the marriage is permitted after the couple has completed the assessment process of these Pastoral Guidelines.

5. Previous Marriage... Any previous marriage (Catholic or non-Catholic) is an obstacle to marriage in the Catholic Church. The parties must disclose to the Priest/Deacon/Case Sponsor the facts of the previous marriage(s) in an effort to seek resolution.

6. Cohabitation… The Church has traditionally taught that sexual intercourse outside of marriage is contrary to the divine law. Times have not changed the Church’s teaching with reference to this particular matter. Those who come to begin marriage preparations and are living together will need to enter into specific discussion with the Priest/Deacon concerning the marriage and the ceremony. Only after the matter has been discussed will the decision be made concerning the marriage and the nature of the ceremony.